1. Before the baby is born, I will be able to catch up on my sleep. Yeah...no. Although it is possible to sleep through baby hiccups, baby kicks and light contractions, it is not possible to sleep through the baby bouncing on your bladder. Though I was staying awake for much shorter periods than I am now that I am nursing, I was probably actually awake more frequently in the last trimester than I am now with the starving newborn.
2. Justin and I will have time to go away for a few romantic weekend trips late 2nd and early 3rd trimester. This may have been possible, had Justin not had a family emergency during the peak of my 2nd trimester. (Which, looking back, was very fortunate timing for him to be able to leave without regrets.) But almost immediately upon his return, our baby child threatened to come out early, thereby putting me on partial bedrest and certainly eliminating the possibility if romantic getaways. Alas.
3. It will be easy to agree on a baby name. Had we been expecting a girl, this would not have been a misconception. It was eerily simple to come up with a full name for a girl. But boy names were remarkably difficult. The name I have loved since childhood was immediately shot down by my spousal figure. (Though he did say it would be okay if I really really wanted it - a very sweet sentiment on his part, but I really did want my husband to like his kid's name.) And his name choices were...unusual at best. But as these things tend to do, the situation resolved itself with a name originally used as a placeholder which somehow stuck. It's a pretty awesome name, I think, though he will be asked how it is pronounced and/or spelled for the rest of his life. That's okay. No one knows how to spell my name either.
4. Maternity clothes aren't that difficult to find. I am amazed at the challenge this became. Stores I thought would have plenty of maternity clothes - Target, Kohls, Old Navy - were oddly lacking. Come to find out, these stores don't even always have a maternity section. The place I did the best was at the Gap, which frankly surprised me. There is also a maternity clothing specialty store half an hour away, which was nice for work clothes - and fortunately, they had sales racks. Because anything that is attached to "pregnancy" or "babies" is immediately marked up on prices.
5. It will be easy to sign up for a childbirth education class. This was actually remarkably challenging! I expected to be able to easily register for the classes at my own hospital. That was not the case. I ended up taking classes in the community. (I'm really glad it worked out this way actually, it was an interesting experience.)
6. Once you are 4cm dilated, the baby is going to come out in the next 48 hrs because you are in active labor. I blame med school on this misconception. I had no idea that a first time mom could walk around over 6cm dilated without being in current active labor. Of course, I had no idea that labor could be prolonged for a week or stalled for another 2 weeks.
7. Once you begin active labor, it doesn't stop without pharmacological intervention. Hahaha no. See above. And in fact you can have regular contractions for a week at over 4cm dilated and STILL not have the baby come out. Just saying.
8. If I do plenty of kegels, I will not tear. Nope. (The topic of recovery is not a misconception on my part, because I just didn't think about it before the delivery. Why think about something you can't change, lol. Very mature coping mechanism on my part. Or not.)
9. I will have time to rest between contractions once I am in labor. No again. For some reason I expected to use all those techniques Justin and I learned in that childbirth class. Bwahaha.
10. Once the baby comes, we'll be able to get out more. Looking back, I'm not really sure where this came from. I think maybe it was because I was looking forward to being off bedrest. I really thought we'd be able to go out to dinner (finally - sushi!) and get out of the house more. While breastfeeding. ...What was I thinking?
11. There isn't any reason to buy newborn clothes because he will outgrow them in a week. People told me this one. It wasn't exactly accurate. I did think 0-3 months meant ZERO to three (or at least two-and-a-half) months. The second day out of the hospital, I was at babies r us buying newborn clothes on clearance.
12. Breastfeeding comes naturally. I had seen these videos of the breast crawl babies do after birth to breastfeed for the first time. It's pretty cool, and in fact my baby did this. Really awesome. That said, this does not mean things will continue to be easy. Latching is much more challenging than I had anticipated. More challenging than my baby anticipated, too. It's really funny. That first day, we didn't have any problems. Perhaps because we were both tired. After that, I think we both began trying too hard. Now it's easier, but we still have difficulties with a feeding or so a day. But we're improving.
13. We'll be able to go home for Christmas. Perhaps we could. But I'm not sure I'm quite up to the car ride yet. And the baby and I should continue to work on our feeding skills. Another misconception - the car ride will be the same as usual. No - we're going to have to stop every two hours for a feeding. It's going to take FOREVER to get home.
14. I will have time to catch up on some academic reading. Maybe this will change. And certainly, I have the time now - just not the energy. Leading to another misconception - I will have more energy once the baby is born and my body is "back to normal". Hey, maybe that's not a misconception, because it hasn't happened yet, lol. But now I'm not so sure it will. :P
15. My husband will be a good father. This misconception was a serious understatement. My husband is an AMAZING father.
Well, the baby is making "I'm about to be hungry" noises. Fun days of early parenthood. :)
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
The Arrival.
Amazingly, my little baby is one week old. The last few months of pregnancy were pretty stressful. At 32 weeks, after several weeks of contractions with cervical changes (dilation with nearly complete effacement), there was serious enough concern that he wouldn't make it to 34 weeks that I received steroid injections to speed up his lung development. I literally lost count of the number of trips to L&D for monitoring. I cut back my work schedule considerably so I could work from home part time to remain compliant with partial bedrest and minimal physical activity. For weeks, I was told that he would be here any day. Each day, I kept hoping for the next milestone - my baby shower, my friends' visits, 34 weeks, 36 weeks - and finally 37 weeks. Term.
And then, at 37 weeks exactly, on a Monday, I went into active labor - 4cm dilated. We went to the hospital happy and exhilarated we had made it to term. Then, after a few hours, walking around the hospital, it proceeded to shift into prolonged early labor. (When our OB discharged us, she told us to get plenty of sleep, because we'd likely be back at 9pm that night.) Then, after nearly a week of regular contractions, stalled labor. My parents arrived *very* early Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving for the delivery (not knowing they had a 2.5 week wait ahead of them).
As the days and weeks and doctor's visits passed, our obstetrician began speaking about labor induction at the due date (December 10th). It is a really challenging mind shift to transition from doing everything to keep him in to trying your hardest to get him out. The Monday before our baby was born, I was walking around nearly 6cm dilated. I had been asked perhaps a thousand times by family, friends and coworkers if I was "feeling anything" or if "that baby" was "ever coming out".
The Friday before the due date arrived, my mom made me her much-loved broccoli casserole and a cake she had discussed making for us since their arrival. My friend Eduardo joined us for dinner, and he and Justin went to trivia while I went to bed. Fortunately. Because at 3am I began having contractions. Minor things - after all, I was having contractions pretty much every night. I went back to sleep and didn't even wake Justin up because he had only been in bed for four hours or so. 3:30, woke up again with still pretty unexciting contractions. Went back to sleep. And then - 5am. Intense contractions radiating from my back. I didn't want to wake Justin up, but he heard me with them. We managed them for a bit - with low expectations, as we had been through this routine a number of times at this point. But they continued to quickly progress. Too quickly for the usual shower. Or even to guzzle an Ensure. At 6am, we were headed to the hospital, with contractions every 2 minutes or so apart, on the phone with my OB. For the first time, the ED didn't even complete my admission, they sent me straight over to L&D.
My OB checked me - 7-8cm - and broke my water. At that point, the contractions were one on top of the other. Justin stayed by my side as we went about the process of a non-medication-assisted delivery with back labor. We had an amazing L&D nurse, Laura, whom we had met during perhaps our first trip to L&D. We were even in our very first room - room 9, with a covered window across from the delivery bed. And at 8:54am on 12/8/12, with a vacuum assist during the last push, our little baby burst into the world. A little too vigorously, as I'm still recovering. But nevertheless, out. And two days before our due date. And as I was being sutured, I held my (much cleaner than anticipated after those birthing videos) newborn baby against my skin, and breastfed him for the first time.
Parenthood has certainly been an adjustment. My husband has been amazing. Though i knew he would be a great father, I didn't know he would take to fatherhood this well. He is constantly oohing and ahhing over our child while he has been taking care of the two of us. I have been having a slower recovery than I had hoped, but I'm starting to get around a little easier and am hopefully taking a little more of the burden from my spousal figure, particularly now that my parents have returned to welcome my sister home for the holidays. One of our friends recently had a baby six weeks ago, and her insight has been invaluable with this transition. So for the time being, we are taking it day by day, hour by hour. And by doing so, I think it will get a bit easier each day.
It helps that he is the most adorable and precious child ever born. And I say this with absolutely no bias whatsoever.
And then, at 37 weeks exactly, on a Monday, I went into active labor - 4cm dilated. We went to the hospital happy and exhilarated we had made it to term. Then, after a few hours, walking around the hospital, it proceeded to shift into prolonged early labor. (When our OB discharged us, she told us to get plenty of sleep, because we'd likely be back at 9pm that night.) Then, after nearly a week of regular contractions, stalled labor. My parents arrived *very* early Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving for the delivery (not knowing they had a 2.5 week wait ahead of them).
As the days and weeks and doctor's visits passed, our obstetrician began speaking about labor induction at the due date (December 10th). It is a really challenging mind shift to transition from doing everything to keep him in to trying your hardest to get him out. The Monday before our baby was born, I was walking around nearly 6cm dilated. I had been asked perhaps a thousand times by family, friends and coworkers if I was "feeling anything" or if "that baby" was "ever coming out".
The Friday before the due date arrived, my mom made me her much-loved broccoli casserole and a cake she had discussed making for us since their arrival. My friend Eduardo joined us for dinner, and he and Justin went to trivia while I went to bed. Fortunately. Because at 3am I began having contractions. Minor things - after all, I was having contractions pretty much every night. I went back to sleep and didn't even wake Justin up because he had only been in bed for four hours or so. 3:30, woke up again with still pretty unexciting contractions. Went back to sleep. And then - 5am. Intense contractions radiating from my back. I didn't want to wake Justin up, but he heard me with them. We managed them for a bit - with low expectations, as we had been through this routine a number of times at this point. But they continued to quickly progress. Too quickly for the usual shower. Or even to guzzle an Ensure. At 6am, we were headed to the hospital, with contractions every 2 minutes or so apart, on the phone with my OB. For the first time, the ED didn't even complete my admission, they sent me straight over to L&D.
My OB checked me - 7-8cm - and broke my water. At that point, the contractions were one on top of the other. Justin stayed by my side as we went about the process of a non-medication-assisted delivery with back labor. We had an amazing L&D nurse, Laura, whom we had met during perhaps our first trip to L&D. We were even in our very first room - room 9, with a covered window across from the delivery bed. And at 8:54am on 12/8/12, with a vacuum assist during the last push, our little baby burst into the world. A little too vigorously, as I'm still recovering. But nevertheless, out. And two days before our due date. And as I was being sutured, I held my (much cleaner than anticipated after those birthing videos) newborn baby against my skin, and breastfed him for the first time.
Parenthood has certainly been an adjustment. My husband has been amazing. Though i knew he would be a great father, I didn't know he would take to fatherhood this well. He is constantly oohing and ahhing over our child while he has been taking care of the two of us. I have been having a slower recovery than I had hoped, but I'm starting to get around a little easier and am hopefully taking a little more of the burden from my spousal figure, particularly now that my parents have returned to welcome my sister home for the holidays. One of our friends recently had a baby six weeks ago, and her insight has been invaluable with this transition. So for the time being, we are taking it day by day, hour by hour. And by doing so, I think it will get a bit easier each day.
It helps that he is the most adorable and precious child ever born. And I say this with absolutely no bias whatsoever.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
The Weeks Are Passing.
As usual, my spousal figure has inspired me to post on my blog. Lately, I have come to realize that the baby is going to be here very soon. For the past month I've been so worried about working to prevent preterm labor that I haven't been thinking about the actual will-be-here-before-I-know-it labor. I often joke and say I had to wait to consider to have kids until the many labors I have witnessed in the past became a faint memory, but as I get closer to the delivery date, I realize I remember the doozies and not the smooth labors as well.
At this point I'm trying to make those big decisions about the labor process - what am I comfortable with, how will I pursue pain management (if any), etc. I had always planned to get an epidural, but a congenital condition I had pretty much forgotten about may make this difficult. So - au naturale may be the way I'm going. And this makes me REALLY want to find a good childbirth class. Which I am discovering is a bit last minute. Oops.
In the second trimester, I remember reading these things saying I would really miss those days in the third trimester. I must admit I thought they were exaggerating. But I've realized they weren't. I have all sorts of weird changes in my body at this point. And it's gotten to the point where I look down at my abdomen and say, man that's huge! And it's supposed to get BIGGER? It's the point where I'm not as sure that baby is really going to fit on the way out, though I of course know that's silly on my part.
And I am wondering how our life is going to change when this child decides to make his appearance into the world. I have been taught a lot about the importance of infancy and attachment, and I hope I will be the "good-enough mother" my child needs.
So these are a few things I think about as my kiddo wakes me up throughout the night and saps my energy during the day. 8 months of pregnancy down. Not too many weeks to go.
At this point I'm trying to make those big decisions about the labor process - what am I comfortable with, how will I pursue pain management (if any), etc. I had always planned to get an epidural, but a congenital condition I had pretty much forgotten about may make this difficult. So - au naturale may be the way I'm going. And this makes me REALLY want to find a good childbirth class. Which I am discovering is a bit last minute. Oops.
In the second trimester, I remember reading these things saying I would really miss those days in the third trimester. I must admit I thought they were exaggerating. But I've realized they weren't. I have all sorts of weird changes in my body at this point. And it's gotten to the point where I look down at my abdomen and say, man that's huge! And it's supposed to get BIGGER? It's the point where I'm not as sure that baby is really going to fit on the way out, though I of course know that's silly on my part.
And I am wondering how our life is going to change when this child decides to make his appearance into the world. I have been taught a lot about the importance of infancy and attachment, and I hope I will be the "good-enough mother" my child needs.
So these are a few things I think about as my kiddo wakes me up throughout the night and saps my energy during the day. 8 months of pregnancy down. Not too many weeks to go.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Peaceful mornings.
The house (with the exception of one small pile of papers on the kitchen table) is back in order. Everything has shifted around and/or found new homes. It's nice to have order restored in our little universe. We don't have a crib yet because a set of grandparents wants to give it to us for a gift. But once we do, we will be done with the big things in that room. Woot.
My husband and I have picked out a name. It's a bit unusual despite it being a traditional name. I always liked names that are a bit out of the ordinary, as long as they aren't TOO out of the ordinary. Unusual enough to be unique but not unusual enough to be teased, that has been my goal. I think this name accomplishes that. And I like the spelling. My husband likes that it is a name that has special meaning for us - even though the special meaning is rather funny.
Today is a quiet morning. My husband had a family emergency and left suddenly for a week and a half. I am glad he was able to go to be there for his family. That said, it is very nice to have him home. The cats and I missed him. And now our household feels a bit more peaceful. Like I was saying above - order has been restored in our little universe. Can't tell you how wonderful it is to have him back.
The morning routine is calling, so I will end this update for now. I hope for more peaceful mornings in the future.
My husband and I have picked out a name. It's a bit unusual despite it being a traditional name. I always liked names that are a bit out of the ordinary, as long as they aren't TOO out of the ordinary. Unusual enough to be unique but not unusual enough to be teased, that has been my goal. I think this name accomplishes that. And I like the spelling. My husband likes that it is a name that has special meaning for us - even though the special meaning is rather funny.
Today is a quiet morning. My husband had a family emergency and left suddenly for a week and a half. I am glad he was able to go to be there for his family. That said, it is very nice to have him home. The cats and I missed him. And now our household feels a bit more peaceful. Like I was saying above - order has been restored in our little universe. Can't tell you how wonderful it is to have him back.
The morning routine is calling, so I will end this update for now. I hope for more peaceful mornings in the future.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Nursery decorating.
My husband and I have painted our nursery. It looks pretty impressive, if I do say so myself, particularly given that I have never painted a room before. My husband came up with a clever pattern for an accent wall, and the colors are really great together. We picked out a chocolate brown for the majority of the room, with the accent wall highlighted with "sail blue", "rainforest green", and cream. It really turned out well. And given that my husband and I have had a preference for these colors in the past, the comforter for the full-size guest bed we have in the room coordinates with the theme.
I am looking forward to getting the crib so we can finally be officially done with the room. We still have things to go through in the rest of the house before we can consider ourselves done with the house overhaul, but still, with one room down, we are that much closer to finishing.
Right now, the nursery looks better than our own bedroom. I have plans to get a piece of supplemental furniture for our bedroom which will help some, but I still think the baby will have a better room than we do, which I find a bit funny.
We are still debating boy names. A lot of people tell me that they debated name into the 8th month of pregnancy. Many people tell me that the baby was delivered before they came up with a name. That is reassuring. And ultimately, I hear it is the mom who fills out the birth certificate, so I suppose I have the final say. Just don't tell the husband, eh?
I am looking forward to getting the crib so we can finally be officially done with the room. We still have things to go through in the rest of the house before we can consider ourselves done with the house overhaul, but still, with one room down, we are that much closer to finishing.
Right now, the nursery looks better than our own bedroom. I have plans to get a piece of supplemental furniture for our bedroom which will help some, but I still think the baby will have a better room than we do, which I find a bit funny.
We are still debating boy names. A lot of people tell me that they debated name into the 8th month of pregnancy. Many people tell me that the baby was delivered before they came up with a name. That is reassuring. And ultimately, I hear it is the mom who fills out the birth certificate, so I suppose I have the final say. Just don't tell the husband, eh?
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Ultrasounds.
Great news - my husband and I are expecting a boy! My husband was pretty adorable, filming the ultrasound while we were informed of the good news.
But, as is to be expected of this somewhat rocky pregnancy, there was a concerning finding on the ultrasound which led to an appointment with a high-risk OB for further assessment. While we waited a week for this appointment, we wondered what we would be told. Would an amniocentesis be in my future, with its 1:200 risk of miscarriage?
Fortunately, the appointment went very well. We had a nice long ultrasound where we watched our baby kick and elbow me, and the visit with the perinatologist was very reassuring. The finding that had been suspected on the first ultrasound was negated, and the risk of the genetic disorder that is "incompatible with life" decreased from a possible 1% risk to a 1:10,000 risk.
Whew!!
That said, others in the waiting room were not so lucky. It is sobering to recognize that we may have needed to make some of the same decisions those couples were struggling with.
So now...my husband and I have happier decisions ahead. Will we be able to agree on a boy name? What decision should we make about circumcision? How should we decorate the nursery? Much happier dilemmas.
But, as is to be expected of this somewhat rocky pregnancy, there was a concerning finding on the ultrasound which led to an appointment with a high-risk OB for further assessment. While we waited a week for this appointment, we wondered what we would be told. Would an amniocentesis be in my future, with its 1:200 risk of miscarriage?
Fortunately, the appointment went very well. We had a nice long ultrasound where we watched our baby kick and elbow me, and the visit with the perinatologist was very reassuring. The finding that had been suspected on the first ultrasound was negated, and the risk of the genetic disorder that is "incompatible with life" decreased from a possible 1% risk to a 1:10,000 risk.
Whew!!
That said, others in the waiting room were not so lucky. It is sobering to recognize that we may have needed to make some of the same decisions those couples were struggling with.
So now...my husband and I have happier decisions ahead. Will we be able to agree on a boy name? What decision should we make about circumcision? How should we decorate the nursery? Much happier dilemmas.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Emotional lability.
One of the things that annoys me about being pregnant - every now and then, I do not have full control of my moods. I'm pretty good if I can keep myself distracted, but at other times, I get all emotional. I know it's stupid, and I know it's related to hormones. And I find that even more annoying.
We're still working on the nursery (read: rearranging the house and engaging in spring cleaning). We've made a lot of progress, to the point where only piddly little things and big massive things await. I hate that stage. To be honest, if it were up to me, I would jump to the huge things. But that is not methodical, and the little things would still be waiting, taunting us. *sighs*
I think I want a milkshake. A nice, thick, creamy milkshake. It would be great if we had a Sonic nearby, but alas, New England has not embraced the awesomeness that is the Sonic franchise. Where can I get a milkshake...
And when I begin talking about milkshakes, it's time to end the blog post.
We're still working on the nursery (read: rearranging the house and engaging in spring cleaning). We've made a lot of progress, to the point where only piddly little things and big massive things await. I hate that stage. To be honest, if it were up to me, I would jump to the huge things. But that is not methodical, and the little things would still be waiting, taunting us. *sighs*
I think I want a milkshake. A nice, thick, creamy milkshake. It would be great if we had a Sonic nearby, but alas, New England has not embraced the awesomeness that is the Sonic franchise. Where can I get a milkshake...
And when I begin talking about milkshakes, it's time to end the blog post.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Changes in the air.
On Tuesday, my husband and I will know the gender of our child. Kinda crazy. It's nice to finally have an answer. If it's a girl, we can breathe a sigh of relief and continue to get ready. If it's a boy, though, we have more discussions ahead. We will need to continue to search for a mutually agreed-upon name and research circumcision, as our first impulses on the issue are currently in opposition. Either way, we'll be pleased, but a girl would be more immediately easier. Though when our daughter hits the Tweens, we may not agree.
This week has been pretty cool, because I've been confidently able to say I'm feeling the baby move around. That's a bit weird though, to be honest. It makes it a little more real. I don't have to worry as much that something has gone wrong if I can feel the baby moving, though, so that's nice. My husband and I are having the kind of conversations you would expect at this stage. What do we want in the nursery? What are our opinions on childcare? Those kind of things. Soon we will need to decide if we want to take birth an childcare classes and things. Lots of decisions ahead. And I want to spend some time enjoying being alone with my husband, too. As I mentioned before, I really enjoy being married. I wonder how our life will change with a child at home. I'm sure it'll be great.
This week has been pretty cool, because I've been confidently able to say I'm feeling the baby move around. That's a bit weird though, to be honest. It makes it a little more real. I don't have to worry as much that something has gone wrong if I can feel the baby moving, though, so that's nice. My husband and I are having the kind of conversations you would expect at this stage. What do we want in the nursery? What are our opinions on childcare? Those kind of things. Soon we will need to decide if we want to take birth an childcare classes and things. Lots of decisions ahead. And I want to spend some time enjoying being alone with my husband, too. As I mentioned before, I really enjoy being married. I wonder how our life will change with a child at home. I'm sure it'll be great.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
A Moment in Time
Today is a quiet day.
Many changes are in the air, and for the moment, reflection sounded peaceful. A few quiet moments could lead to an epiphany. Though it could just as easily lead nowhere. It doesn't really matter - it's the travel itself, rather than the destination, that has meaning.
I'm expecting a child. One of those very ordinary things in life we take for granted, despite its potential to change the entire fabric of my being. What will life be like, I wonder? It's daunting, to be honest - I like the life I have. But to be honest, I have always found enjoyment in the life I live - I'm adaptable. Moments are lost in the sea of eternity, just as they are lost in the finite lives of mortals. But I enjoy this moment, and it will be sad to see it end.
Lazy days are rare in my life. In many ways, that is a blessing. I have a world to explore, and I embrace the exploration, even when it is, as is most frequent, an exploration of familiarity. But it's nice to sit and enjoy favorite TV shows and the company of my spouse and our kittens. It is my own lack of imagination which invites a label. So I will disregard the thought, "boring".
My cat is requesting my attention. I have books to read. TV shows are begging to be watched and re-watched. And I hear a knock on the door. The lazy day is likely at an end. So I am off to enjoy the exploration of the familiar, enjoying my quiet moments.
Many changes are in the air, and for the moment, reflection sounded peaceful. A few quiet moments could lead to an epiphany. Though it could just as easily lead nowhere. It doesn't really matter - it's the travel itself, rather than the destination, that has meaning.
I'm expecting a child. One of those very ordinary things in life we take for granted, despite its potential to change the entire fabric of my being. What will life be like, I wonder? It's daunting, to be honest - I like the life I have. But to be honest, I have always found enjoyment in the life I live - I'm adaptable. Moments are lost in the sea of eternity, just as they are lost in the finite lives of mortals. But I enjoy this moment, and it will be sad to see it end.
Lazy days are rare in my life. In many ways, that is a blessing. I have a world to explore, and I embrace the exploration, even when it is, as is most frequent, an exploration of familiarity. But it's nice to sit and enjoy favorite TV shows and the company of my spouse and our kittens. It is my own lack of imagination which invites a label. So I will disregard the thought, "boring".
My cat is requesting my attention. I have books to read. TV shows are begging to be watched and re-watched. And I hear a knock on the door. The lazy day is likely at an end. So I am off to enjoy the exploration of the familiar, enjoying my quiet moments.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)