1. Before the baby is born, I will be able to catch up on my sleep. Yeah...no. Although it is possible to sleep through baby hiccups, baby kicks and light contractions, it is not possible to sleep through the baby bouncing on your bladder. Though I was staying awake for much shorter periods than I am now that I am nursing, I was probably actually awake more frequently in the last trimester than I am now with the starving newborn.
2. Justin and I will have time to go away for a few romantic weekend trips late 2nd and early 3rd trimester. This may have been possible, had Justin not had a family emergency during the peak of my 2nd trimester. (Which, looking back, was very fortunate timing for him to be able to leave without regrets.) But almost immediately upon his return, our baby child threatened to come out early, thereby putting me on partial bedrest and certainly eliminating the possibility if romantic getaways. Alas.
3. It will be easy to agree on a baby name. Had we been expecting a girl, this would not have been a misconception. It was eerily simple to come up with a full name for a girl. But boy names were remarkably difficult. The name I have loved since childhood was immediately shot down by my spousal figure. (Though he did say it would be okay if I really really wanted it - a very sweet sentiment on his part, but I really did want my husband to like his kid's name.) And his name choices were...unusual at best. But as these things tend to do, the situation resolved itself with a name originally used as a placeholder which somehow stuck. It's a pretty awesome name, I think, though he will be asked how it is pronounced and/or spelled for the rest of his life. That's okay. No one knows how to spell my name either.
4. Maternity clothes aren't that difficult to find. I am amazed at the challenge this became. Stores I thought would have plenty of maternity clothes - Target, Kohls, Old Navy - were oddly lacking. Come to find out, these stores don't even always have a maternity section. The place I did the best was at the Gap, which frankly surprised me. There is also a maternity clothing specialty store half an hour away, which was nice for work clothes - and fortunately, they had sales racks. Because anything that is attached to "pregnancy" or "babies" is immediately marked up on prices.
5. It will be easy to sign up for a childbirth education class. This was actually remarkably challenging! I expected to be able to easily register for the classes at my own hospital. That was not the case. I ended up taking classes in the community. (I'm really glad it worked out this way actually, it was an interesting experience.)
6. Once you are 4cm dilated, the baby is going to come out in the next 48 hrs because you are in active labor. I blame med school on this misconception. I had no idea that a first time mom could walk around over 6cm dilated without being in current active labor. Of course, I had no idea that labor could be prolonged for a week or stalled for another 2 weeks.
7. Once you begin active labor, it doesn't stop without pharmacological intervention. Hahaha no. See above. And in fact you can have regular contractions for a week at over 4cm dilated and STILL not have the baby come out. Just saying.
8. If I do plenty of kegels, I will not tear. Nope. (The topic of recovery is not a misconception on my part, because I just didn't think about it before the delivery. Why think about something you can't change, lol. Very mature coping mechanism on my part. Or not.)
9. I will have time to rest between contractions once I am in labor. No again. For some reason I expected to use all those techniques Justin and I learned in that childbirth class. Bwahaha.
10. Once the baby comes, we'll be able to get out more. Looking back, I'm not really sure where this came from. I think maybe it was because I was looking forward to being off bedrest. I really thought we'd be able to go out to dinner (finally - sushi!) and get out of the house more. While breastfeeding. ...What was I thinking?
11. There isn't any reason to buy newborn clothes because he will outgrow them in a week. People told me this one. It wasn't exactly accurate. I did think 0-3 months meant ZERO to three (or at least two-and-a-half) months. The second day out of the hospital, I was at babies r us buying newborn clothes on clearance.
12. Breastfeeding comes naturally. I had seen these videos of the breast crawl babies do after birth to breastfeed for the first time. It's pretty cool, and in fact my baby did this. Really awesome. That said, this does not mean things will continue to be easy. Latching is much more challenging than I had anticipated. More challenging than my baby anticipated, too. It's really funny. That first day, we didn't have any problems. Perhaps because we were both tired. After that, I think we both began trying too hard. Now it's easier, but we still have difficulties with a feeding or so a day. But we're improving.
13. We'll be able to go home for Christmas. Perhaps we could. But I'm not sure I'm quite up to the car ride yet. And the baby and I should continue to work on our feeding skills. Another misconception - the car ride will be the same as usual. No - we're going to have to stop every two hours for a feeding. It's going to take FOREVER to get home.
14. I will have time to catch up on some academic reading. Maybe this will change. And certainly, I have the time now - just not the energy. Leading to another misconception - I will have more energy once the baby is born and my body is "back to normal". Hey, maybe that's not a misconception, because it hasn't happened yet, lol. But now I'm not so sure it will. :P
15. My husband will be a good father. This misconception was a serious understatement. My husband is an AMAZING father.
Well, the baby is making "I'm about to be hungry" noises. Fun days of early parenthood. :)
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
The Arrival.
Amazingly, my little baby is one week old. The last few months of pregnancy were pretty stressful. At 32 weeks, after several weeks of contractions with cervical changes (dilation with nearly complete effacement), there was serious enough concern that he wouldn't make it to 34 weeks that I received steroid injections to speed up his lung development. I literally lost count of the number of trips to L&D for monitoring. I cut back my work schedule considerably so I could work from home part time to remain compliant with partial bedrest and minimal physical activity. For weeks, I was told that he would be here any day. Each day, I kept hoping for the next milestone - my baby shower, my friends' visits, 34 weeks, 36 weeks - and finally 37 weeks. Term.
And then, at 37 weeks exactly, on a Monday, I went into active labor - 4cm dilated. We went to the hospital happy and exhilarated we had made it to term. Then, after a few hours, walking around the hospital, it proceeded to shift into prolonged early labor. (When our OB discharged us, she told us to get plenty of sleep, because we'd likely be back at 9pm that night.) Then, after nearly a week of regular contractions, stalled labor. My parents arrived *very* early Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving for the delivery (not knowing they had a 2.5 week wait ahead of them).
As the days and weeks and doctor's visits passed, our obstetrician began speaking about labor induction at the due date (December 10th). It is a really challenging mind shift to transition from doing everything to keep him in to trying your hardest to get him out. The Monday before our baby was born, I was walking around nearly 6cm dilated. I had been asked perhaps a thousand times by family, friends and coworkers if I was "feeling anything" or if "that baby" was "ever coming out".
The Friday before the due date arrived, my mom made me her much-loved broccoli casserole and a cake she had discussed making for us since their arrival. My friend Eduardo joined us for dinner, and he and Justin went to trivia while I went to bed. Fortunately. Because at 3am I began having contractions. Minor things - after all, I was having contractions pretty much every night. I went back to sleep and didn't even wake Justin up because he had only been in bed for four hours or so. 3:30, woke up again with still pretty unexciting contractions. Went back to sleep. And then - 5am. Intense contractions radiating from my back. I didn't want to wake Justin up, but he heard me with them. We managed them for a bit - with low expectations, as we had been through this routine a number of times at this point. But they continued to quickly progress. Too quickly for the usual shower. Or even to guzzle an Ensure. At 6am, we were headed to the hospital, with contractions every 2 minutes or so apart, on the phone with my OB. For the first time, the ED didn't even complete my admission, they sent me straight over to L&D.
My OB checked me - 7-8cm - and broke my water. At that point, the contractions were one on top of the other. Justin stayed by my side as we went about the process of a non-medication-assisted delivery with back labor. We had an amazing L&D nurse, Laura, whom we had met during perhaps our first trip to L&D. We were even in our very first room - room 9, with a covered window across from the delivery bed. And at 8:54am on 12/8/12, with a vacuum assist during the last push, our little baby burst into the world. A little too vigorously, as I'm still recovering. But nevertheless, out. And two days before our due date. And as I was being sutured, I held my (much cleaner than anticipated after those birthing videos) newborn baby against my skin, and breastfed him for the first time.
Parenthood has certainly been an adjustment. My husband has been amazing. Though i knew he would be a great father, I didn't know he would take to fatherhood this well. He is constantly oohing and ahhing over our child while he has been taking care of the two of us. I have been having a slower recovery than I had hoped, but I'm starting to get around a little easier and am hopefully taking a little more of the burden from my spousal figure, particularly now that my parents have returned to welcome my sister home for the holidays. One of our friends recently had a baby six weeks ago, and her insight has been invaluable with this transition. So for the time being, we are taking it day by day, hour by hour. And by doing so, I think it will get a bit easier each day.
It helps that he is the most adorable and precious child ever born. And I say this with absolutely no bias whatsoever.
And then, at 37 weeks exactly, on a Monday, I went into active labor - 4cm dilated. We went to the hospital happy and exhilarated we had made it to term. Then, after a few hours, walking around the hospital, it proceeded to shift into prolonged early labor. (When our OB discharged us, she told us to get plenty of sleep, because we'd likely be back at 9pm that night.) Then, after nearly a week of regular contractions, stalled labor. My parents arrived *very* early Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving for the delivery (not knowing they had a 2.5 week wait ahead of them).
As the days and weeks and doctor's visits passed, our obstetrician began speaking about labor induction at the due date (December 10th). It is a really challenging mind shift to transition from doing everything to keep him in to trying your hardest to get him out. The Monday before our baby was born, I was walking around nearly 6cm dilated. I had been asked perhaps a thousand times by family, friends and coworkers if I was "feeling anything" or if "that baby" was "ever coming out".
The Friday before the due date arrived, my mom made me her much-loved broccoli casserole and a cake she had discussed making for us since their arrival. My friend Eduardo joined us for dinner, and he and Justin went to trivia while I went to bed. Fortunately. Because at 3am I began having contractions. Minor things - after all, I was having contractions pretty much every night. I went back to sleep and didn't even wake Justin up because he had only been in bed for four hours or so. 3:30, woke up again with still pretty unexciting contractions. Went back to sleep. And then - 5am. Intense contractions radiating from my back. I didn't want to wake Justin up, but he heard me with them. We managed them for a bit - with low expectations, as we had been through this routine a number of times at this point. But they continued to quickly progress. Too quickly for the usual shower. Or even to guzzle an Ensure. At 6am, we were headed to the hospital, with contractions every 2 minutes or so apart, on the phone with my OB. For the first time, the ED didn't even complete my admission, they sent me straight over to L&D.
My OB checked me - 7-8cm - and broke my water. At that point, the contractions were one on top of the other. Justin stayed by my side as we went about the process of a non-medication-assisted delivery with back labor. We had an amazing L&D nurse, Laura, whom we had met during perhaps our first trip to L&D. We were even in our very first room - room 9, with a covered window across from the delivery bed. And at 8:54am on 12/8/12, with a vacuum assist during the last push, our little baby burst into the world. A little too vigorously, as I'm still recovering. But nevertheless, out. And two days before our due date. And as I was being sutured, I held my (much cleaner than anticipated after those birthing videos) newborn baby against my skin, and breastfed him for the first time.
Parenthood has certainly been an adjustment. My husband has been amazing. Though i knew he would be a great father, I didn't know he would take to fatherhood this well. He is constantly oohing and ahhing over our child while he has been taking care of the two of us. I have been having a slower recovery than I had hoped, but I'm starting to get around a little easier and am hopefully taking a little more of the burden from my spousal figure, particularly now that my parents have returned to welcome my sister home for the holidays. One of our friends recently had a baby six weeks ago, and her insight has been invaluable with this transition. So for the time being, we are taking it day by day, hour by hour. And by doing so, I think it will get a bit easier each day.
It helps that he is the most adorable and precious child ever born. And I say this with absolutely no bias whatsoever.
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