The Weeks Are Passing.

As usual, my spousal figure has inspired me to post on my blog.  Lately, I have come to realize that the baby is going to be here very soon.  For the past month I've been so worried about working to prevent preterm labor that I haven't been thinking about the actual will-be-here-before-I-know-it labor.  I often joke and say I had to wait to consider to have kids until the many labors I have witnessed in the past became a faint memory, but as I get closer to the delivery date, I realize I remember the doozies and not the smooth labors as well.

At this point I'm trying to make those big decisions about the labor process - what am I comfortable with, how will I pursue pain management (if any), etc.  I had always planned to get an epidural, but a congenital condition I had pretty much forgotten about may make this difficult.  So - au naturale may be the way I'm going.  And this makes me REALLY want to find a good childbirth class.  Which I am discovering is a bit last minute.  Oops.

In the second trimester, I remember reading these things saying I would really miss those days in the third trimester.  I must admit I thought they were exaggerating.  But I've realized they weren't.  I have all sorts of weird changes in my body at this point.  And it's gotten to the point where I look down at my abdomen and say, man that's huge!  And it's supposed to get BIGGER?  It's the point where I'm not as sure that baby is really going to fit on the way out, though I of course know that's silly on my part.

And I am wondering how our life is going to change when this child decides to make his appearance into the world.  I have been taught a lot about the importance of infancy and attachment, and I hope I will be the "good-enough mother" my child needs.

So these are a few things I think about as my kiddo wakes me up throughout the night and saps my energy during the day.  8 months of pregnancy down.  Not too many weeks to go.

Peaceful mornings.

The house (with the exception of one small pile of papers on the kitchen table) is back in order.  Everything has shifted around and/or found new homes.  It's nice to have order restored in our little universe.  We don't have a crib yet because a set of grandparents wants to give it to us for a gift.  But once we do, we will be done with the big things in that room.  Woot.

My husband and I have picked out a name.  It's a bit unusual despite it being a traditional name.  I always liked names that are a bit out of the ordinary, as long as they aren't TOO out of the ordinary.  Unusual enough to be unique but not unusual enough to be teased, that has been my goal.  I think this name accomplishes that.  And I like the spelling.  My husband likes that it is a name that has special meaning for us - even though the special meaning is rather funny.

Today is a quiet morning.  My husband had a family emergency and left suddenly for a week and a half.  I am glad he was able to go to be there for his family.  That said, it is very nice to have him home.  The cats and I missed him.  And now our household feels a bit more peaceful.  Like I was saying above - order has been restored in our little universe.  Can't tell you how wonderful it is to have him back.

The morning routine is calling, so I will end this update for now.  I hope for more peaceful mornings in the future.

Nursery decorating.

My husband and I have painted our nursery. It looks pretty impressive, if I do say so myself, particularly given that I have never painted a room before. My husband came up with a clever pattern for an accent wall, and the colors are really great together. We picked out a chocolate brown for the majority of the room, with the accent wall highlighted with "sail blue", "rainforest green", and cream. It really turned out well. And given that my husband and I have had a preference for these colors in the past, the comforter for the full-size guest bed we have in the room coordinates with the theme.

I am looking forward to getting the crib so we can finally be officially done with the room. We still have things to go through in the rest of the house before we can consider ourselves done with the house overhaul, but still, with one room down, we are that much closer to finishing.

Right now, the nursery looks better than our own bedroom. I have plans to get a piece of supplemental furniture for our bedroom which will help some, but I still think the baby will have a better room than we do, which I find a bit funny.

We are still debating boy names. A lot of people tell me that they debated name into the 8th month of pregnancy. Many people tell me that the baby was delivered before they came up with a name. That is reassuring. And ultimately, I hear it is the mom who fills out the birth certificate, so I suppose I have the final say. Just don't tell the husband, eh?

Ultrasounds.

Great news - my husband and I are expecting a boy! My husband was pretty adorable, filming the ultrasound while we were informed of the good news.

But, as is to be expected of this somewhat rocky pregnancy, there was a concerning finding on the ultrasound which led to an appointment with a high-risk OB for further assessment. While we waited a week for this appointment, we wondered what we would be told. Would an amniocentesis be in my future, with its 1:200 risk of miscarriage?

Fortunately, the appointment went very well. We had a nice long ultrasound where we watched our baby kick and elbow me, and the visit with the perinatologist was very reassuring. The finding that had been suspected on the first ultrasound was negated, and the risk of the genetic disorder that is "incompatible with life" decreased from a possible 1% risk to a 1:10,000 risk.

Whew!!

That said, others in the waiting room were not so lucky. It is sobering to recognize that we may have needed to make some of the same decisions those couples were struggling with.

So now...my husband and I have happier decisions ahead. Will we be able to agree on a boy name? What decision should we make about circumcision? How should we decorate the nursery? Much happier dilemmas.

Emotional lability.

One of the things that annoys me about being pregnant - every now and then, I do not have full control of my moods.  I'm pretty good if I can keep myself distracted, but at other times, I get all emotional.  I know it's stupid, and I know it's related to hormones.  And I find that even more annoying.

We're still working on the nursery (read: rearranging the house and engaging in spring cleaning).  We've made a lot of progress, to the point where only piddly little things and big massive things await.  I hate that stage.  To be honest, if it were up to me, I would jump to the huge things.  But that is not methodical, and the little things would still be waiting, taunting us.  *sighs*

I think I want a milkshake.  A nice, thick, creamy milkshake.  It would be great if we had a Sonic nearby, but alas, New England has not embraced the awesomeness that is the Sonic franchise.  Where can I get a milkshake...

And when I begin talking about milkshakes, it's time to end the blog post.

Changes in the air.

On Tuesday, my husband and I will know the gender of our child. Kinda crazy. It's nice to finally have an answer. If it's a girl, we can breathe a sigh of relief and continue to get ready. If it's a boy, though, we have more discussions ahead. We will need to continue to search for a mutually agreed-upon name and research circumcision, as our first impulses on the issue are currently in opposition. Either way, we'll be pleased, but a girl would be more immediately easier. Though when our daughter hits the Tweens, we may not agree.

This week has been pretty cool, because I've been confidently able to say I'm feeling the baby move around. That's a bit weird though, to be honest. It makes it a little more real. I don't have to worry as much that something has gone wrong if I can feel the baby moving, though, so that's nice. My husband and I are having the kind of conversations you would expect at this stage. What do we want in the nursery? What are our opinions on childcare? Those kind of things. Soon we will need to decide if we want to take birth an childcare classes and things. Lots of decisions ahead. And I want to spend some time enjoying being alone with my husband, too. As I mentioned before, I really enjoy being married. I wonder how our life will change with a child at home. I'm sure it'll be great.

A Moment in Time

Today is a quiet day.

Many changes are in the air, and for the moment, reflection sounded peaceful.  A few quiet moments could lead to an epiphany.  Though it could just as easily lead nowhere.  It doesn't really matter - it's the travel itself, rather than the destination, that has meaning.

I'm expecting a child.  One of those very ordinary things in life we take for granted, despite its potential to change the entire fabric of my being.  What will life be like, I wonder?  It's daunting, to be honest - I like the life I have.  But to be honest, I have always found enjoyment in the life I live - I'm adaptable.  Moments are lost in the sea of eternity, just as they are lost in the finite lives of mortals.  But I enjoy this moment, and it will be sad to see it end.

Lazy days are rare in my life.  In many ways, that is a blessing.  I have a world to explore, and I embrace the exploration, even when it is, as is most frequent, an exploration of familiarity.  But it's nice to sit and enjoy favorite TV shows and the company of my spouse and our kittens.  It is my own lack of imagination which invites a label.  So I will disregard the thought, "boring".

My cat is requesting my attention.  I have books to read.  TV shows are begging to be watched and re-watched.  And I hear a knock on the door.  The lazy day is likely at an end.  So I am off to enjoy the exploration of the familiar, enjoying my quiet moments.